A lot has happened in the past few weeks: I transitioned to a job at a Circle K gas station where I’m actually making money, I traveled to Oklahoma to audition for The Voice, I auditioned for American Idol, and I stopped denying that I’m in love.

What a life, man.

To elaborate, my auditions went well and I did my best, but I didn’t go onto the next rounds, and my job is murdering my sleep, because I work a lot of 10pm – 6am’s (my gym training has taken a serious hit, but I’m ready to get back into it once my time in Boulder comes to a close)

Regardless, life is promising. God is good.

As many of you know, tomorrow is the Donaven Day of the year! I turn 20 and I don’t feel as excited about it as I should. Part of me knows that my birthday isn’t going to be as important to other people as it is to me, which ironically, makes it feel less important – it makes me feel less important. But I’ve come so far. I’ve overcome so much. There have been countless times where I didn’t even want to be alive and yet, here I am, celebrating the onset of my 20th year of life. This day means a lot to me. But then, there’s another part of me that’s terrified that twenty is going to be just as difficult as nineteen. But I also realize that my twentieth year of life is going to be completely different.

I won’t be in school for the first time since ever, but that also means that I won’t have my friends around me. It means I’ll have to adjust to a different way of life. I’ll be living with my grandparents in the fall and although it’s a small thing, I’m excited to finally be attending a church! I’m ready to connect with other young adults through small groups and find myself a little community down in Aurora. Taking time off from school to focus on gaining experience for graduate school is worth it, but there’s a lot that I’m leaving behind in Boulder and finding a way to keep up with my life there is going to be interesting.

In other news, I’ll be spending August in Florida with my parents and my sister! I’ll get to spend a lot of time with a friend from high school and our reunion is literally going to make my year. In September, I’ll be transferring to a Circle K down in Aurora and I’ll be interning at Aurora Mental Health Center. Then, in the spring… well I don’t know. We’ll see how that all plays out. It’s looking extremely hopeful, though.

This summer, however, has been more difficult than I expected it to be. I’ve had to work my booty off to provide for myself financially on top of taking classes and interning at Boulder County Justice Center as a DPO (I’ll be in Boulder every Thursday during the fall for this). It’s also been hard not having a few of my favorite people around, as they’re off doing their own summer things (and apparently forgetting I exist), but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the time I’ve spent with the people who have remained here in Boulder.

Anyway, even if the beginning of my 3rd decade of life turns out to be just as difficult as my 19th year was, my goal remains the same: to keep moving forward. So, as I say every year, cheers to learning to find joy in the struggles. Besides, I’m starting my 3rd decade off right with a sushi dinner party tomorrow and a birthday party on Friday!

With hope (I promise I’ll be writing more),

And in the ways of Ryan O’Neal

Things I love right now:

1. This quote:

Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and forgiving heart. Be the one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them. –Marvin J. Ashton

2. Don’t Look Down, Martin Garrix ft. Usher

3. This song I recently wrote

4. Dreaming of being accepted into this graduate program

5. Shane’s coming out video


One thought on “Twenty

  1. Pingback: It is Indeed Fall | Moving Forward.

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